Frases de Johnny Carson

„A diferença entre divórcio e separação legal é que esta dá tempo ao marido para esconder o dinheiro.“

—  Johnny Carson

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
citado em "Was it good for you, too?: quotations on love and sex‎" - Página 43, de Bob Chieger - Atheneum, 1983, ISBN 0689706502, 9780689706509 - 258 páginas

„Sempre que quatro nova-iorquinos entram em um táxi e não discutem, acaba de acontecer um roubo a banco.“

—  Johnny Carson

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
citado em "That's Funny!‎" - Página 156, de Michael Cader - Andrews McMeel Publishing, 1996, ISBN 0836215028, 9780836215021 - 187 páginas

„It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.“

—  Johnny Carson

„It was so hot today I saw a robin dipping his worm in Nestea.
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles.
It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself."“

—  Johnny Carson

The Tonight Show (Summer 1977).

„And so it has come to this: I, uh… am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it. I want to thank the gentlemen who've shared this stage with me for thirty years, Mr. Ed McMahon… Mr. Doc Severinsen… and… you people watching, I can only tell you that it has been an honor and a privilege to come into your homes all these years and entertain you—and I hope when I find something that I want to do, and I think you would like, and come back, that you'll be as gracious in inviting me into your home as you have been. I bid you a very heartfelt good night.“

—  Johnny Carson

Closing words on his final Tonight Show appearance (22 May 1992).

„Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can — and will.“

—  Johnny Carson

Playboy interview (1967).

„I did not know that.“

—  Johnny Carson

Used on many occasions and often appears in Johnny Carson parodies.