Frases de Erma Bombeck

„Se eu tivesse a minha vida para viver novamente, teria convidado amigos para o jantar apesar do carpete sujo e do sofá desbotado.“

—  Erma Bombeck

I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
citado em "The Reader's digest", Volume 120‎ - Página 52, The Reader's Digest Association, 1982

„As famílias não estão morrendo, elas se fundem em grandes conglomerados.“

—  Erma Bombeck

Families aren't dying, they're merging into big conglomerates.
"Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing from America's Favorite Humorist‎" - Página 149, Erma Bombeck - Andrews McMeel Publishing, 1997, ISBN 0836236734, 9780836236736 - 288 páginas

„Qualquer um que assista a três jogos de futebol americano seguidamente deveria ser considerado com morte cerebral.“

—  Erma Bombeck

Fonte: Revista CARAS, Edição 689, de 17 de Janeiro de 2007.

„Quando eu estiver diante de Deus no final da minha vida, espero que não me tenha sobrado nem um pouquinho de talento, e eu possa dizer, Eu usei tudo que o Senhor me deu.“

—  Erma Bombeck

„I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food“

—  Erma Bombeck

„There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.“

—  Erma Bombeck

„It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else“

—  Erma Bombeck

„When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.“

—  Erma Bombeck

„Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.“

—  Erma Bombeck

„When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.“

—  Erma Bombeck

„Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.“

—  Erma Bombeck

„There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.“

—  Erma Bombeck

„Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere“

—  Erma Bombeck

„Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.“

—  Erma Bombeck

„Housework can kill you if done right.“

—  Erma Bombeck

„The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.“

—  Erma Bombeck

„Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?“

—  Erma Bombeck

„When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.“

—  Erma Bombeck

„All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.“

—  Erma Bombeck