Frases de Sarah Silverman (33 citações) | Citações e frases famosas

“I'll be back. I'll be black. I'll be white black.”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

The Sarah Silverman Program

“Also, I learned whether you are gay, bisexual, it doesn't matter, you know … because, at the end of the day, they're both gross. But mostly, I learned that elderly black women are wise beyond their years … but younger black women are prostitutes.”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

The Sarah Silverman Program

“I want to get an abortion. But my boyfriend and I are having trouble conceiving.”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

Jesus Is Magic (2005)

“I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

To Pamela Anderson on the Comedy Central Roast (14 August 2005)

“I’ll take this opportunity to answer one of the most repeated questions: why didn’t I choose to depict Mohammed having sex? The answer is simple. I don’t want to get blown up with explosives. I’m afraid of angering Muslims, but not afraid of angering Jews and Christians. So I chose to depict the Judeo-Christian God instead. It seems extremely obvious to me, but so many people asked.”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman livro The Bedwetter

The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee (2010). Referring to a sketch on The Sarah Silverman Program in which her character slept with God.

“I wear this Saint Christopher medal sometimes because — I'm Jewish — but my boyfriend is Catholic. It was cute, the way he gave it to me. He said if it doesn't burn through my skin, it will protect me. Who cares? Different religions.
The only time it's an issue, I suppose, would be like if you're having a baby and you've got to figure out how you want to raise it. Which still wouldn't be an issue for us, because we'd be … honest, and just say, you know, like, "Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!"”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

Jesus Is Magic (2005)

“I saw my father's penis once. But it was okay, because I was soooo young … and sooo drunk.”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

Jesus Is Magic (2005)

“[holds up an egg] This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

The Sarah Silverman Program

“A couple nights ago, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis. And I thought, "Oh my God — I'm turning into my mother!"”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

Jesus Is Magic (2005)

“Once I was with two men in one night. But I could never do it again—I could hardly walk afterward. Two dinners? That's a lot of food.”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

Penthouse magazine (December 1999)

“People are always introducing me as "Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne." I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

Jesus Is Magic (2005)

“I dated a guy who was half-black, but he dumped me because I'm such a loser. Wow, I shouldn't say things like that, I'm such a pessimist … he's actually half-white.”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

Jesus Is Magic (2005)

“I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way."”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

I always think I should get on it if I want to have kids. Because once you hit thirty it can be difficult to conceive — it can be dangerous. The best time to conceive is when you're a black teenager.
Fonte: Rolling Stone (3 November 2005)

“People who call themselves divas…you are not a diva. I'm pretty sure you're a cunt.”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

Real Time with Bill Maher episode 145, 13 March 2009

“Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people that believe it was the blacks.”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

The New Yorker (24 October 2005)

“I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

The Sarah Silverman Program

“I got jury duty … and I didn't want to go, so my friend said, "You should write something really really racist on the form when you return it. Like, you should put 'I hate chinks'." And I said, "I'm not going to put that on there just to get out of jury duty. I don't want people to think that about me." So instead I wrote, "I love chinks."”

Help us translate this quote

Sarah Silverman

And who doesn't?
The Conan O'Brien Show (11 July 2001) In the original joke, Silverman had said "niggers" instead of "chinks", the network asked her to change it from the first to the latter. The network and O'Brien then apologized for airing this statement, Silverman did not, stating that it was plainly satirizing the racist thought process.