Frases de Alexander Woollcott

„Nothing risque, nothing gained.“

—  Alexander Woollcott

„[You look like] a dishonest Abe Lincoln.“

—  Alexander Woollcott

Describing Harold Ross, fellow Round Table member and founder of The New Yorker, as quoted in The American Treasury, 1455-1955 (1955) by Clifton Fadiman, Charles Lincoln Van Doren, p. 461; variants of this quote begin "He looks like..." "He looked like..." etc.

„I've never had the impertinence to be sorry for Helen Keller. I'd as soon be sorry for Niagara Falls. But now as I bring the story up to date, I'm shriveled with shame when I recall that at times in my life — my easy life — I've actually been sorry for myself. You too? We've got our nerve, haven't we?“

—  Alexander Woollcott

Radio Memorial http://www.afb.org/Section.asp?Documentid=968 for Anne Sullivan Macy (1936).

„I have no need of your God-damned sympathy. I only wish to be entertained by some of your grosser reminiscences.“

—  Alexander Woollcott

Letter to Rex O'Malley (1942).

„Once in pre-war days, when curiously-bonneted women drivers were familiar sights at the taxi-wheels, I cried out to one in my dismay: "Is there no speed limit in this mad city?"
"Oh, yes, monsieur," she answered sweetly over her shoulder, "but no one has ever succeeded in reaching it."“

—  Alexander Woollcott

"The Paris Taxi-Driver Considered as an Artist," in Enchanted Aisles (1924).

„The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs.“

—  Alexander Woollcott

On actors and prostitutes, from his column, as republished in Shouts and Murmurs: Echoes of a Thousand and One First Nights (1922), p. 57.

„I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini.“

—  Alexander Woollcott

Reported as a misattribution in Paul F. Boller, Jr., and John George, They Never Said It: A Book of Fake Quotes, Misquotes, & Misleading Attributions (1989), p. 132.
Misattributed

„All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.“

—  Alexander Woollcott

"The Knock at the Stage Door" in Reader's Digest (December 1933); also in A Dictionary of Catch Phrases : British and American, from the Sixteenth Century to the Present Day (1986) http://books.google.com.br/books?id=Nm3jbg0JalMC&pg=PA24&dq=All+the+things+I+really+like+to+do+are+either+illegal,+immoral,+or+fattening by Eric Partridge and Paul Beale, ISBN 041505916X, ISBN 9780415059169 .

„At 83 Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.“

—  Alexander Woollcott

Referring to George Bernard Shaw in While Rome Burns (1934).

„Well, if I were thus rationed in this article and could have but one adjective for George Gershwin, that adjective would be "ingenuous." Ingenuous at and about his piano. Once an occasional composer named Oscar Levant stood beside that piano while those sure, sinewy, catlike Gershwin fingers beat their brilliant drum-fire—the tumultuous cascade of the "Rhapsody In Blue," the amorous languor of "The Man I Love," the impish glee of "Fascinating Rhythm," the fine, jaunty, dust-spurning scorn of "Strike Up the Band." If the performer was familiar with the work of any other composer, he gave no evidence of it. Levant (who, by the way, makes a fleeting appearance in the new Dashlell Hammett book, under the guise of Levi Oscant) could be heard mutterIng under his breath, "An evening with Gershwin Is a Gershwln evening."
"I wonder," said our young composer dreamily, "if my music will be played a hundred years from now."
"It certainly will be," said the bitter Levant,"if you are still around."“

—  Alexander Woollcott

"George the Ingenuous" in Cosmopolitan (November 1933); reprinted in Ch. IV: "'...A Young Colossus...'" https://books.google.com/books?id=ATcjgQTx0uIC&pg=PA45#v=onepage&q&f=false from Gershwin Remembered (1992) by Edward Jablonski, pp. 44-45