„When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.“

—  Will Rogers

Variante: If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

„The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.“

—  Will Rogers

„The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.“

—  Will Rogers

„Diplomacy is the same as saying "nice doggie" until you have a chance to pick up a rock.“

—  Will Rogers

Attributed to Francis Rodman, in volume 64 of The Reader's digest (1954)
Other variants also attributed to Wynn Catlin in Kiss Me Hardy : Quotations Ancient and (Very) Modern (1982) by Roger Kilroy; and to Winston Churchill by Dick Applegate in a speech reprinted in Volume 75 of "The Carpenter" (1955)
Misattributed

„We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.“

—  Will Rogers

As quoted in The Complete Speaker's Index to Selected Stories for Every Occasion (1967) by Jacob Morton Braude, p. 16
Variant: We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
As quoted in Peter's Quotations : Ideas for Our Time (1979) by Laurence J. Peter, p. 240
As quoted in ...
Variante: We all can't be heroes, for someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

„A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.“

—  Will Rogers

„The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.“

—  Will Rogers

„If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?“

—  Will Rogers

„When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.“

—  Will Rogers

„A fool and his money are soon elected.“

—  Will Rogers

„If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can't get us out.“

—  Will Rogers

„Always drink upstream from the herd.“

—  Will Rogers

„Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.“

—  Will Rogers

Daily Telegram #1172, Will Rogers Sees No Value In All The Time We Save (28 April 1930)
Daily telegrams

„The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.“

—  Will Rogers

„The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.“

—  Will Rogers

„The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.“

—  Will Rogers

„It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute.“

—  Will Rogers

„Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.“

—  Will Rogers

„An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.“

—  Will Rogers

As quoted in You Must Remember This (1975) by Walter Wagner, p. 175
As quoted in ...