Frases de Joseph Heller

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“Orr é doido?
– Sem dúvida.
– Pode dá-lo por incapaz?
– Claro que posso. Mas primeiro tem de me pedir. Faz parte do regulamento.
– Então, porque não lhe pede?
– Porque é doido. Só um lunático continuaria a participar em missões de combate depois de escapar por uma unha negra tantas vezes. Com certeza que posso dá-lo combate não está realmente doido.

(…)

Havia apenas um ardil e era o Artigo 22, o qual especificava que a preocupação de um homem pela sua própria segurança perante perigos reais e imediatos constituía o resultado do funcionamento de uma mente racional.”

“Com Catch-22 percebi, com angústia, que não era capaz de escrever sequer uma página por dia. Eu me impus um esquema de catorze páginas por semana. Deu e não deu certo, porque eu acabava não gostando daquelas páginas. Agora sei que não escrevo facilmente (…) Eu costumo dizer a estudantes talentosos que paciência é o que eles mais precisam; e que escrever é um trabalho duro. Não se torna mais fácil para os que conseguem êxito no ramo.”

“Eu estava tão influenciado pelas imagens de heroísmo de Hollywood que fiquei desapontado por não haver ninguém atirando atrás de mim.”

“É preciso que o sujeito tenha bom senso para saber que não passa de um idiota; é preciso ser honesto para compreender que é mentiroso; é preciso ser idiota para se julgar possuidor de bom senso.”

“Há um animal abjeto a vicejar em algum lugar dentro de mim. Tento mantê-lo oculto, subjugado, enquanto ele tenta se libertar. Não sei o que é nem a quem deseja destruir. Talvez seja eu mesmo. E pode ser a mim que ele esteja querendo destruir.”

“as pessoas com mentes manifestavam por vezes tendência para se tornar espertas.”

“À semelhança das medalhas olímpicas e troféus de ténis, significavam apenas que o possuidor fizera algo sem vantagem para ninguém mais eficientemente que qualquer outra pessoa.”

“Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery or simple bad luck.”

“What do you do when it rains?"
The captain answered frankly. "I get wet.”

“You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate."

"Consciously, sir, consciously," Yossarian corrected in an effort to help. "I hate them consciously.”

“He was never without misery, and never without hope.”

“Where were you born?"
"On a battlefield," [Yossarian] answered.
"No, no. In what state were you born?"
"In a state of innocence.”

“He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt, and his only mission each time he went up was to come down alive.”

“Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.”

“Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.”

“There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.”

“Surely there can't be so many countries worth dying for.'
Anything worth living for,' said Nately, 'is worth dying for.'
And anything worth dying for,' answered the sacrilegious old man, 'is certainly worth living for.”

“You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!”

“Men," he began his address to the officers, measuring his pauses carefully. "You're American officers. The officers of no other army in the world can make that statement. Think about it.”

“She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.”

“Clevinger had a mind, and Lieutenant Scheisskoph had noticed that people with minds tended to get pretty smart at times.”

“When I grow up I want to be a little boy.”

“I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.”

“When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.”

“I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m running to them. There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.”

“Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he's in his office.”

“For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.”

“where are the snowdens of yesteryear?”

“I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.”

“Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.”

“Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence?"
"Yes, sir, it has."
"Then why do you do it?"
"To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.”

“You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.”

“He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret”

“Rise above principal and do what's right.”

“Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.”

“While none of the work we do is very important, it is important that we do a great deal of it.”