„I was so ugly... When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother!“

—  Rodney Dangerfield, Actually originated with Henny Youngman.
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Rodney Dangerfield
1921 - 2004
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Henny Youngman photo

„I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother“

—  Henny Youngman American comedian 1906 - 1998
101 of My Funniest Jokes. New York: Henny Youngman (1976). Brochure..

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Jodi Picoult photo
Roberto Clemente photo

„I have had two lives: when I was born in Puerto Rico in 1935 [sic] and when I came to play baseball in Pittsburgh in 1955. I have two loves: my family – my mother, my father and my wife and three sons – and my fans.“

—  Roberto Clemente Puerto Rican baseball player 1934 - 1972
Addressing reporters at post-game press conference on Roberto Clemente Day, as quoted in "Roberto Clemente's a Man of 2 Lives ... and 2 Loves" https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=zbYcAAAAIBAJ&sjid=NWYEAAAAIBAJ&pg=2327%2C2876682 by the Associated Press, in The Sarasota Herald-Tribune (July 26, 1970)

Constantin Brâncuși photo

„I ground matter to find the continuous line. And when I realized I could not find it, I stopped, as if an unseen someone had slapped my hands.“

—  Constantin Brâncuși French-Romanian artist 1876 - 1957
Original in Romanian: Am șlefuit materia pentru a afla linia continuă. Și când am constatat că n‑o pot afla, m‑am oprit; parcă cineva nevăzut mi‑a dat peste mâini. </ref>

Sojourner Truth photo

„I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?“

—  Sojourner Truth African-American abolitionist and women's rights activist 1797 - 1883
Context: That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man — when I could get it — and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?

Stephen Fry photo

„My first words, as I was being born... I looked up at my mother and said, "that's the last time I'm coming out one of those."“

—  Stephen Fry English comedian, actor, writer, presenter, and activist 1957
On being gay Stephen Fry actually admitted this was a quote from a friend, not himself. (Moab Is My Washpot)

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Hillary Clinton photo

„They have done so much day in and day out and I want to thank all my friends and family, particularly my mother, who was born before women could vote, and is watching her daughter on this stage tonight.“

—  Hillary Clinton American politician, senator, Secretary of State, First Lady 1947
February 5, 2008 Super Tuesday Address http://www.hillaryclinton.com/news/speech/view/?id=5761

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