„My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock. “

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Rodney Dangerfield
1921 - 2004
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„James Ross Clemens, a cousin of mine, was seriously ill two or three weeks ago in London, but is well now. The report of my illness grew out of his illness; the report of my death was an exaggeration.“

—  Mark Twain American author and humorist 1835 - 1910
From a note Twain wrote in London on May 31, 1897 to reporter Frank Marshall White: Shelley Fisher Fishkin, Lighting Out For the Territory : Reflections on Mark Twain and American Culture (Oxford University Press, 1996), p. 134 http://books.google.com/books?id=ms3tce7BgJsC&lpg=PA134&vq=%22the%20report%20of%20my%20death%20was%20an%20exaggeration%22&pg=PA134. (The original note is the Papers of Mark Twain, Accession #6314, etc., Clifton Waller Barrett Library, Special Collections, University of Virginia Library, Charlottesville, Va. http://ead.lib.virginia.edu/vivaxtf/view?docId=uva-sc/viu00005.xml, in Box 1.) White subsequently reported this in "Mark Twain Amused," New York Journal, 2 June 1897. White also recounts the incident in "Mark Twain as a Newspaper Reporter," The Outlook, Vol. 96, 24 December 1910 Variant: I said - 'Say the report is greatly exaggerated'. "Chapters from My Autobiography", The North American Review, 21 September 1906, p. 160. Mark Twain Misquote: The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. Note: This paraphrase or misquote may be more popular than the original. <!--The joke is not original to Twain, having been used by Ulysses S. Grant in 1865.-->

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„In railway halls, on pavements near the traffic,
They beg, their eyes made big by empty staring
And only measuring Time, like the blank clock.“

—  Stephen Spender English poet and man of letters 1909 - 1995
Context: In railway halls, on pavements near the traffic, They beg, their eyes made big by empty staring And only measuring Time, like the blank clock. No, I shall weave no tracery of pen-ornament To make them birds upon my singing tree: Time merely drives these lives which do not live As tides push rotten stuff along the shore. "In Railway Halls, on Pavements Near the Traffic"

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„In a word, man in London is not quite so good a creature as he is out of it.“

—  John Galt (novelist) British writer 1779 - 1839
The Ayrshire Legatees (Edinburgh: Blackwood, [1821] 1823) pp. 163-4.

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„The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now.“

—  Karl Pilkington English television personality, social commentator, actor, author and former radio producer 1972
3 Minute Wonder, Episode 3

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„He went out... and wept bitterly.“

—  William Tyndale Bible translator and agitator from England 1494 - 1536
Matthew 26:75.

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