„I wanted to put a reference to masturbation in one of the scripts for the Sandman. It was immediately cut by the editor [Karen Berger]. She told me, "There's no masturbation in the DC Universe." To which my reaction was, "Well that explains a lot about the DC Universe."“

—  Neil Gaiman, The Sandman Companion (1999)

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„I would masturbate in a red speedo.“

—  Gillian Anderson American-British film, television and theatre actress, activist and writer 1968
When asked what would she do if she and David Duchovny switched bodies for a week — Reddit "Gillian Anderson here. I've brought David Duchovny with me. Ask us anything, we'll answer almost everything." https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1oad13/gillian_anderson_here_ive_brought_david_duchovny/#ccq7k5a (October 12, 2013)

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„We know that more than 70 to 80% of women masturbate, and 90% of men masturbate, and the rest lie.“

—  Joycelyn Elders American pediatrician, public health administrator, and former Surgeon General of the United States 1933
Penn & Teller: Bullshit!, "Abstinence" http://www.sho.com/site/video/player.do?video=/134/2006/abstinence&seriesid=134 [4.10], 5 June 2006

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„She waited for him to explain a universe in which there was so much injustice.“

—  Larry Niven American writer 1938
Chapter 51 “After the Ball Is Over” (p. 486)

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„Masturbation is one of the safest ways to explore your own sexuality.“

—  Dave Grohl American rock musician, multi-instrumentalist, and singer-songwriter 1969
Sex in the 90s, Part IX: The Safest Sex of All https://web.archive.org/web/19961222033827/http://www.mtv.com/MTVNEWS/sex90/sex.html

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„They called me mad... But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!“

—  Woody Allen American screenwriter, director, actor, comedian, author, playwright, and musician 1935

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„Love is what makes sex more than masturbation. If there is no love even if you are really with a partner you masturbate with a partner.“

—  Slavoj Žižek Slovene philosopher 1949
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„Female masturbation is permissible unconditionally.“

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„Masturbation is the thinking man's television.“

—  Christopher Hampton British playwright, screenwriter and film director 1946
Jonathan, in The Philanthropist (1969)

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„I said the President of the United States gets his jollies masturbating horses!“

—  Fred Phelps American pastor and activist 1929 - 2014
As quoted in "The President of the United States gets his jollies masturbating horses" http://amagideon.blogspot.com/2006/08/president-of-united-states-gets-his.html (15 August 2006), Universal Armageddon.

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„When scolded for masturbating in public, he said "I wish it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing my belly."“

—  Diogenes of Sinope ancient Greek philosopher, one of the founders of the Cynic philosophy -404 - -322 a.C.
Diogenes Laërtius, vi. 46, 69 Variant: If only it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate. As quoted in Encarta Book of Quotations (2000) edited by Bill Swainson, p. 274

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